Author Topic: Breaking News  (Read 202 times)

Offline Anubis

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Breaking News
« on: March 09, 2017, 09:54:17 AM »
9:35 AM EST

ZNN Live Broadcast

     A commercial break featuring the latest incarnations of Erectile Dysfunction Pills and Swiffer Floor Sweepers comes to a close as we are returned

to the live morning ZNN Broadcast. Michael McDouchebag, sporting his latest haircut favoring a rather batshit politician, can be see sitting behind a

spacious mahogany desk. Looking towards the cameras with his bleached teeth and ten pounds of makeup, he flashes the best fake smile he can

muster, his soul having long rotted away to political favoritism and bribery.

    "Hello everyone, welcome back to the Situation Room. Right now we turn to World News" McDouchebag begins to speak

while his eyes scan the teleprompter in front of him.

    "Reports are coming out of Pakistan that American Soldiers participated on a raid in the Gilgit–Baltistan territory upon a terrorist

compound in the regions northeastern most regions. Two Navy SEAL teams comprised of twenty-four soldiers raided the compound during the twilight

hours of last night"
the news anchor continues, his posture changes while a map of the region becomes superimposed upon the television


     "An official statement from the members of the Joint Chiefs states that these Teams were tasked with capturing a Highly Valued

Terrorist Leader that is said to have ties with Al Qaeda, ISIS and possibly even North Korea"
the image of the map then changes to grain, night

vision footage that had been taken by a Predator UAV over the region during the raid. Gunfire and explosions can be see through the grainy footage,

but the light is too dark to indicate how many people had been involved in the battle.

    "Several minutes after the raid was initiated, a massive explosion tore the compound where the terrorist was located asunder"

the smaller of the two images suddenly becomes bright as the flames are bright and the force is intense enough to shake the camera

belonging to the Predator which had been on station close to one thousand feet above the scene. "Fortunately, both Teams received

a transmission from inside the compound from an unknown party to evacuated before the explosion took place. Several members of both Teams were

injured but no fatalities have been reported"
McDouchebag continues, as the smaller of the two screen cuts away and he moves his posture to

face the cameras directly once more.

     "ZNN has placed several calls to the Pentagon regarding comments about this situation, but no responses have been received at

this point. Now to the latest turn in the Republican's journey to abolish Obamacare"
the live feed then cuts away to a pre-recorded clip, as the

scene cuts out to static.

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